Yesterday morning I walked to my car, sat in the driver’s seat and started driving. Then I heard and felt a scrape under my seat, along the bottom of the car. It was as though a piece of my car had fallen off and was still dragging behind me. This was not a good sound or feeling to have, and I couldn’t stop the car right away, being in the middle of traffic. I checked in the rearview to see if the car following was flashing its lights, the driver giving his own warning as much as he had effort to do, but no kind of warning was issued. Maybe I had hallucinated the sound because it’s the morning and my mind was messing with me. But then I turned a corner and felt an even more hefty scraping.
So I attempted to pull over, but when I tried to look in the passenger side mirror, I couldn’t. Because it was bent facing away from the car, as though someone had walked past in the night and turned it on purpose — I certainly hadn’t adjusted the mirror in this way, and the constant factor of street / parallel parking overnight is that there are always mysteries surrounding your car when you reach it in the morning.
Regardless, I pulled to the curb as well as I could, got out, and proceeded to yank the dead palm leaf from underneath my car. Six feet long, this sucker was, and I had a momentary vision of death by palm leaf.
Not that it would run me off the road, but that the palm would suddenly come to life in my hands and proceed to waft closer and closer to my neck, first tickling at the back of my neck with loose strands of dead leaf, then finally circling my neck entirely, squeezing hard just above the sensitive angles of my collar bones as my eyes popped from their sockets and the leaf burrowed further into my chest, encircling my heart and ingesting my organs on the inside, leaving me to be an empty sack of human skin on the side of the road in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, soon to be ignored, stepped on, and kicked aside as just another dead palm leaf on the sidewalk.
Have a good day!