Last week I was on a plane returning from New York sitting next to a strange dude. He was quiet, looked like he could’ve used more than a little sunlight. He wore a blue sweater over a dress shirt, and was reading a book about something to do with the Renaissance — pictures and the title gave it away, though the precise title now escapes me. And every once in a while, he shifted in his seat but I paid him no more attention.
He nodded hello when I sat in the middle seat — lucky me — and proceeded to read his book. I pulled out my own Kindle (which I utilize mostly during travel, though it still doesn’t replace the feel of a real book) and proceeded to finish “The Cuckoo’s Calling”. Now and again he’d shift, and I’d glance over at the dude’s book, as the drawings seemed interesting and the book lengthy.
He soon replaced the book with a laptop and checked his emails, doing “normal” work things on a flight. I tried not to notice, just kept my nose in my “book” throughout the flight and kept to myself.
And then I saw it, out of the corner of my eye, and realized what it was that had been catching my eye during the entire journey:
This dude could not stop adjusting himself. And by himself, I mean his manhood, through his pants. On quick review of the trip thus far, I couldn’t remember him taking his right hand out of his crotch whenever he moved — whether putting away his book or pulling out his laptop.
And once I noticed what he’d been doing, I couldn’t look away fast enough. I turned the kindle and faced the aisle. I pulled out my own laptop and stared hard at the scripts on the screen, anything to distract from my disgust. And he kept, on, doing it. I wasn’t trying to notice, but it’s difficult not to when the dude keeps adjusting, moving his arms, adjusting, moving in his seat, adjusting.
I stood to go to the bathroom about five times during the flight just to wash my OWN hands.
Dudes (and ladies who might have their own issues), if you have to adjust yourself that much, maybe buy some baby powder or practice the art of patience and breathing techniques. For the sake of other passengers and their sanity.