Below are my notes for the Best Man speech I gave at my brother’s wedding on April 5th, 2013. I improvised a bit here and there, but this was the gist. Hope you like it.
Now with Video:
Greetings and thank you all for being here — especially Mark and Michele, I know you two have a lot going on so we’re glad you could make it out to tonight’s event.I don’t know how the odds fell in my favor for this ‘best man’ gig, maybe I was just born into it.Being born the younger sibling has more benefits, I suppose, than you would think. You see, Mark is basically the first experiment in perfecting the Pezzula bloodline. Luckily they worked out all the kinks for the main product of the Pezzula brand here. (point to self).
So I’ve been preparing this speech, while at the same time thinking of how scary it’s going to be to be talking to you. Public speaking is a great fear of mine, as I’m sure it is for a lot of you. Other fears I’ve heard whispered tonight: heights, spiders, wicker baskets, forks, Abe Lincoln’s beard, and of course, spiders.One of the unspoken fears that I’d like to talk about is the fear of LOVE.Love is a scary thing. We all know this, or we’ll all come to know this or even remember this. Love requires great sacrifice and courage, a test of will and strength, an appreciation for chocolate and flowers, and above all, patience.And no one is more patient than Mark Pezzula.
You may think I’m kidding, but as a little kid, I was a pest, a thorn in my brother’s side. I followed Mark and his friends around when they played games– board games, Indiana Jones in the basement, evensports — we Pezzulas are known for our basketball skills. It’s the short legs, we’re built for speed.
When Mark started watching rated R movies, I would watch them, too, despite the fact that I preferred Little Foot and the Land Before Time over Pulp Fiction. You know you do, too.
See, Mark is the kind of guy you look up to: Comfortable in the spotlight, resilient when tumbling down the stairs, a dedicated
celebrator when it comes to the need for a good time.(Look at speech)And his bowel skills are incredible. Oh, sorry, that’s VOWEL skills — Mark, your handwriting is not so great here.
This is odd because I don’t feel like a best man, because to me, Mark is the better man. Especially when it comes to holding his bladder. When family vacations occurred, he would never be the one to raise his hand and ask for a bathroom break. That was my job.
Mark met Michele at work because he had to walk past her on the way tothe bathroom again and again, to the point where she started towonder, what’s wrong with this guy?
He either has the smallest bladder in the world — entirely possible, mind you — or… maybe there’s some kind of spark here. Maybe he sees what I see, which is a great smile and a positive energy.Turns out, Michele, that he did see all of that in you, and more.
According to legend their first date was a movie date, and I hear thatMichele absolutely swooned when Mark told her how excited he was to share the 12 hour Lord of the Rings Marathon with her.And like those furry little hobbits, Mark and Michele have endured. Through days and weeks trekking across the office, heading to and from the bathroom and offering a passing smile, a nod, a hello, and eventually conversation. They endured meeting each other’s families — young and old. They powered through every iteration of Dawn of the Dead that exists on DVD, and likely Alien, too.
Now you will cuddle on the couch together, hold hands and walk in stepwith each other, and it warms my heart to know that you two will have each other for a good long while, sharing that couch through moviesgood and bad, through arguments and disagreements, through happinessand love.
You will share everything together.
Every time I look over at you now, I can feel those micro changes in air density. It’s amazing, truly.
As I said earlier, Mark is the better man in the room tonight, Michele the better woman. And it’s very fitting, because the better of us have the dedication and determination to be good to each other, to love each other, and to not stop trying to be the best for each other.
In the end, the love that is given and taken is worthless if there is not also love that is shared. I admire you, I applaud you, and I love you both.
To paraphrase Alien: “Dallas, get out of there” — wait a minute.
That’s the wrong line. What I’m trying to say is, like the Xenomorph in Alien: “Your love has a great defense mechanism: you have each other.”
Cheers to Mark and Michele.