SO I just had a random thought as I was entering my home today that I would love to one day walk into a local restaurant, one where I’ve become a regular, and simply shout out, “Waffle Me!” I would then proceed to my usual seat, probably at the counter, and unfold the latest reading material — a comic, perhaps, or a Vonnegut book — and sit comfortably apart from most of the rest of the patrons.
A coffee mug, piping hot and steaming, would then be set in front of me with casual familiarity. I would pour a cream into the coffee, despite my stomach lacking the desire for dairy, and would stir the coffee with a slow movement before settling in to read my book. At that point, a glorious gold Belgian waffle would be placed before me, butter and syrup on the side — enough to fill each hole but also not spill over the side of the plate. I’d eat, enjoy, and leave within the hour.
That is my later life, when I am sure to be relaxed enough to simply yell “Waffle Me!” and a waffle will appear. For now, I settle for the conversation needed in order to place the order for my “usual,” and anxiously await the day when the waitress tells me she already knows what I like, despite not knowing my name at all. It might lead to further conversations and discussions about her and me, our names and likes and dislikes, whether or not she played the clarinet in high school or simply ignored band altogether. We’ll laugh and smile at each other, wave to say hello or goodbye on the way in and out of the diner, the phrase “waffle me!” becoming an in joke that might even insult some new customers, or her boss, but would always bring the smallest of smiles to her face.
When we finally do get the courage to walk out together, it would be hand in hand, not for the last time, and eventually our wedding cake would be a large Belgian waffle with enough syrup to spill over the sides — but it wouldn’t be a waffle, and it wouldn’t be syrup; it’ll be a real cake in the shape of a waffle, with frosting painted up and down the sides. And just before we kiss our first kiss as husband and wife, she’ll be the one to whisper “waffle me.”
I’ll laugh. She’ll laugh.
Then we’ll kiss and make each other breakfast in bed once a week for the rest of our lives.
That is all.